Surely, You Jest?: Teacher Thwarts Cheaters With Morse Code Jammer

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Science teacher Gloria Giblin unveiled her new strategy to thwart cheaters halfway through her second period AP Physics class last Friday. After several students began resorting to Morse code during the rotational inertia and torque test, Giblin opened a teacher’s utility closet at the back of the room and brought out an antique, personally-crafted noise-cancelling machine, thus nullifying the cheaters’ codes.

The device uses sinusoidal waves to mimic ambient noise in an environment. By adding 180 degrees to the phase displacement, the precise opposite sound can be produced, and human ears don’t hear either. Giblin used the device Friday to cancel the rapid clicks of three students’ pens.

“My first tip off was the fact that [the cheaters] were staring fixedly at ball-point pens,” Giblin said. “Scantrons don’t respond well to ink, and there was no essay portion. Their excuse that clicking the pens ‘helped them relax’ seemed kind of weak, too.”

For Giblin, this has only been one in a long stream of incidents, from the students bringing periscopes to look over teacher-erected barriers “at the clock,” to walkie-talkies for “after finishing the tests.”

Giblin has so far been able to outsmart cheating episodes, but foresees more difficult scenarios in the future.

“I’ve even tried proctoring tests on the football field,” Giblin said. “That worked for second period, but after brunch the kids brought signal flags. Am I supposed to believe these are just for asking me clarifying questions? I think not.”

Junior Brian Campobello, one of the accused cheaters, said it is “preposterous” to draw accusations from a “series of random occurrences.”

“What is it they have me in for, cheating?” Brian said. “[The administration] might as well tack on gang activity, too, because one of those flags was red and one was blue. This is ridiculous.”

Brian holds a clear distinction between a cheater’s attitude and his own.

“I don’t cheat,” Brian said. “I create situations that offer me the greatest chance of success. I spend hours a day preparing for anything a teacher can throw at me, just like every other student at this school. I don’t try to stand out, because I’m not different.”

Brian also believes that he is unappreciated for the subtleties he incorporates into his academic endeavors. He argues that his path to achievement is much more refined than the paths of“all those knuckleheads” who do homework during the unit and study before exams.

“What I do is science, really— maybe even art,” Brian said. “But cheating? Never.”