A Hike Up Olympus to Meet the Talon Gods

From left to right, Ancy Dow, Kelly Wang, Gilberto Orozco, Jr., Trisha Nangia, Nicole Schreiber, Mark Levin, Sandra Song, Michael Moul, Zia Rosenzweig, Scott Stephens, Jamie Eng, Carolyn Huang, Sahil Luthra, Shefali Luthra, Jason Hu, Charlie Falconer, Ava Foudeh, Justin Koehler and Michelle Madani reign over the human race from the heavens.

This year, the members of the newspaper’s editorial staff have a hidden secret: They are all gods, and each of them has a unique kind of divine prowess. Although they have kept this a secret from their peers for several years, they have decided to finally reveal their powers to the student body in honor of this issue’s Ancient Greece theme.

Ancy Dow Opinions Editor
The editors call Ancy the Goddess of Kindness because of her cheerful attitude and eagerness to help, but everyone is pretty sure she’s secretly plotting an evil scheme. It’s only a matter of time until she reveals her true colors.

Kelly Wang In-Depth Editor
Kelly is the Goddess of Healthy Habits. Ever since doing an In-Depth spread on nutrition, she has refused to eat In-N-Out with her fellow gods and angrily brandishes her carrots at them to guilt them.

Gilberto Orozco, Jr. Business Manager
Gilberto is the God of Quickness because he is the fastest writer on The Talon. He generally starts writing his articles 10 minutes before a deadline, and it still manages to come out okay.

Trisha Nangia Content Editor
Trisha is the Goddess of Unsanctioned Field Trips During Sixth Period. When she returns from a 20-minute bathroom break, she has usually found a cup of coffee “just lying in the quad.”

Nicole Schreiber Features Editor
Nicole is the Goddess of Crazy Feet. She seems like a beautiful dancer, but that’s partly because she cannot control her feet, as evidenced when she makes any attempt to walk.

Mark Levin Entertainment Editor
Mark is the God of Highly Processed Meats. Raised solely on Taco Bell, he prefers not to eat dinner with the rest of the staff. When he wants higher quality meat, he opts for dog food.

Sandra Song News Editor
Sandra is the Goddess of Hipsters. She will deny that she is a hipster at all, but that’s just what a hipster would say.

Michael Moul Adviser
Michael Moul is a mere mortal, but the gods like to make him feel included, so they usually just play along.

Zia Rosenzweig Copy Editor
Zia is the Goddess of Nit-Picking. In her free time, she enjoys measuring hyphens to make sure they are all the same length.

Scott Stephens Managing Editor
Early on, Scott found he was the God of Good Looks and so decided to grace the student body with his beauty by sneaking his image into every issue. The rest of the gods, however, think he is really the God of Unjustified Vanity.

Jamie Eng Sports Editor
Jamie is the Goddess of Other Commitments. Although she was free at the start of the year, Jamie picked up six sports by November. She also scheduled her Foothill classes such that their finals (conveniently) fell during Late Nights.

Carolyn Huang Information Editor
Carolyn is the Goddess of Highly Awkward Situations. She usually announces her weekly crushes just as the room falls silent, and her comments about tapioca balls are often unintentionally inappropriate.

Sahil Luthra Editor-in-Chief
Sahil is the God of Puns. Though his jokes and rhymes are well-intentioned, he only succeeds in making the entire staff cringe when he refers to himself as “Sahi the Mahi Tuna.”

Shefali Luthra Website Editor
Shefali is the Mother Goddess of Talon. Like any good mother, she enjoys yelling at her children. At the same time, she loves Talon and has memorized the past 100 years of issues, even though The Talon is only 25 years old.

Jason Hu Copy Editor
Jason is the God of Pretentiousness. He enjoys bossing around Copy/ Content (despite being a copy editor himself) and waggles his finger at peers who use fonts that are not sophisticated enough.

Charlie Falconer Photography Editor
Charlie is the God Everyone Yells At. Usually he hasn’t done anything wrong, but it’s good to take extra precautions.

Ava Foudeh Managing Editor
Unfortunately, nobody remembers what Ava is the God of, since she never comes to school.

Justin Koehler Content Editor
Justin is the God of Style—but not just the styles and conventions of written English; he works hard to never repeat a hairstyle. He also enjoys jumping.

Michelle Madani Business Manager
Michelle is the Goddess of Opinions. Her hobbies include telling people that they’re wrong, telling people that she’s right, and telling people who think she’s wrong that they’re wrong and she’s actually right.