Talon Top 5: Microwavables

1. Bachelor Chow: Hungry Man TV Dinners

Nothing could be a more apt name for a TV dinner than Hungry Man. If a man has to resort to precooked food flash frozen and kept in a freezer for a month for his sustenance, he must be pretty hungry, right? Wrong. Hungry Man TV dinners not only contain over 120 percent of your daily sodium requirement, but they are also magically delicious.

It’s hard to believe so much tastiness could be condensed into a microwavable delicacy like this. The meal includes an entrée, dessert and even vegetables.

The only issue you will have is deciding what to do with that sweet, black plastic tray that your meal is elegantly arrayed on.

2. Sweet Tooth: Betty Crocker Warm Delights

The microwave is a magical tool. Even those with no baking skills can use the microwave to make a cake worthy of a king’s palate, or at least a sweet tooth with a craving for chocolate. With only a tablespoon of water, the included cake mix and 30 seconds of microwaving, dessert can be served. The cakes also come with packets of caramel or fudge depending on the type you buy, and turn an ordinary chocolate cake into a delicious mound of gooey goodness. Just don’t burn yourself. Seriously. The cakes come out roughly the temperature of the sun, and the container is a little cooler, sitting at the temperature of boiling lava. Best to let that sit for a while.

3. Party Favor: Bagel Bites

What is the best food to bring to a party? Pizza. What’s better than ordering pizza? Making it in a microwave. What’s better than microwavable pizza? Mini microwavable pizza bagels. No matter what type of party you’re having, Bagel Bites will make it better. They bring all the taste of pizza with none of the drip-on-your-shirt risk of actual pizza, and they come in great flavors like four cheese and way-too-much-meat cholesterol explosion. While Bagel Bites may put delivery guys out of business, they won’t be missed. Not while it’s this easy to get bite sized pizza morsels.

4. Most Continental: Kahiki Microwavable Egg Rolls

While cheap Chinese food is everyone’s worst nightmare, microwavable Chinese food isn’t half bad. At least these egg rolls aren’t. With their easy crisp bags, the egg rolls come out as crunchy and tasty as if they had just been woked. They are definitely the healthiest food on the list, with 100 calories or less per serving. While they won’t beat a night at Chef Chu’s or Hunan Homes, these egg rolls won’t disappoint those with low enough culinary standards to expect microwavable food to be good.

5. Comfort Food: Easy Mac

Macaroni and cheese has been a staple of American comfort food since the writing of the Constitution. Cheesy pasta dishes offer that warm, gooey, comforting slice of home that makes us think back to days when Mom was always on hand to cook and we didn’t have to resort to microwavable monstrosities to get a bite to eat. Easy Mac offers the best of both worlds, with the ease of microwavable cooking and the cheesy goodness of Mom’s “homemade” mac and cheese that somehow came in the shapes of Scooby Doo and Spongebob characters. Mom never could explain all those Kraft Mac and Cheese boxes in the recycling either.